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Health & Fitness

Dad Blog: The Halloween Experience

I was well stoned on sugary candy before Halloween night though.

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We have been to 18 or so Halloween parties leading up to Halloween night, or day if you are a compliant resident of St. Charles where trick-or-treating was confined from 3 to 7 p.m.

We had a good time on Halloween night, I think. I am too stoned on candy to remember.

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Inebriated from all of that sugar and candy, I can’t see straight let alone type.

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G Fenzy and I adhered to my policy of candy kickback, a scheme similar to the Five Families in New York, where my foo soldier sends up his stash to the Boss.

After I dropped him off at the high end neighborhood where homeowners can afford to give out multiple pieces of high end candy- is this a Godiva bar? - his bag was full, very full.

We lay out all of his “find” on the dining room table and count it. 64 pieces.

15 for me, 2 for him.

It came out to 15 pieces of candy, Butterfingers, Lollipops and Snickers among them, would go to me, The Boss, and he could keep 2 until we emptied the bag.

I was well stoned on sugary candy before Halloween night though. We bought a 75-pound bag of mixed chocolates at Costo and I ate half of the bag before we put some in our bowl to give out to local kids.

G Frenzy asked where all of the candy went. I had to test it out, I told him. You can never trust what kind of candy people give you on Halloween or a commercial monopolist.

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